And how many times does a girl have to flash her tits in your cab before she gets a mention? Damn!

What the f**k Cabbie Bill?  I get sick in your cab twice and don’t get one single mention in your book. What does a guy have to do!

This book unearthed a sea of emotions I didn't know I had inside of me.  I laughed... I cried... I stuffed myself with tater tots until I passed out!

There's a tingling sensation in my nipples that persists to this day...

...a feast for the fingertips... doesn't let up until the coughing fits start... blood will come out your nose... will make you slither across your bathroom floor... what for, exactly, I don't know... I guess that depends upon the variety of toiletries you have stocked, plus the layout of your bathroom... I mean are we talkin' a Feng Shui thing or what?... and let's not forget the color scheme... 'cause there's no way I'm crawling across the floor of a bathroom with gray walls! ...What? So I can feel like I'm in some rest stop by the side of the interstate?! Hell no! ...You get down on your hands and knees in that filth! Count me out!... Oh look, blueberry strudel!